Puppet

I wish I could just negotiate with the spiders in my bathroom

• Me: Okay well I really hate killing you guys and I know that without you the world would be overrun with insects, so I love you and all, but I kind of really need to take a shower and I don't wanna drown you or have you panic and bite me.
• Spider: No probs bro I'll just go hang around in that corner until you're done. By the way, your fan is getting really dirty, my cousin's been living in there and he's not so happy with the conditions.
• Me: Oh that's okay I'll have it cleaned and just you can just tell him to move out until it's done.
• Spider: Sure thing, man, I'll be over here until your shower's over.

nyehs:

what if for an entire year everyone stopped having kids and then there was like an empty grade level for 12 years

(Source: jimbertimber, via superloaf-)

portablemiah:

dude if you think about it we’re already astronauts. earth is in space. we’re in space. dude

(via fuckyeahtxtposts)